angel
by Wild Child RUN
Summary: puck is an angel. he's falling, hard and fast, all because of sabrina.
1. Chapter 1

*warning to all; this fic is angsty.*

"Never regret thy fall,  
O Icarus of the fearless flight  
For the greatest tragedy of them all  
Is never to feel the burning light."

* * *

"You're an angel?" Daphne asks something unidentifiable in her voice, something that smells like hope.

"Yes." Puck breathes out, puts his head in his hands.

"Like...chubby baby in the sky?"

"No, like warrior, like stronger than any man or beast, like something old who could sneeze and destroy an entire town." Puck responds, mutinously.

"Oh. Why is this a problem, then?"

"I'm losing it all. I'm falling," his voice breaks, "I fell in love, and now..."

"Love isn't bad, Puck," She smiles wide, "I never thought you'd admit you loved her."

"Listen," he places Daphne's hand on where his heart should be, "no pitter patter, I'm not built for love," he laughs something cruel and black. "I don't even have a damn heart."

"Oh."

"I'm not human, and angels don't fall in love. Because falling in love is falling from heaven."

* * *

He notices her slowly and then very suddenly. At first glance, his twelve-year-old brain had shelved her as Person to Prank and someone who had Hair like Honey. It only got worse after that. He found himself tripping to make her laugh; wanting to hold her hand, wanting to kiss her, he was addicted to her smile. He knew that being in love was out of the question, and then he started to get older. It surprised him, but then it terrified him. This is where he marks the beginning of the end.

* * *

"How are things?" Daphne says, closing the door behind her.

"Still feel like a fool in love."

"I have an idea…" She clenches her jaw and her knuckles at the same time, whatever emotion she's feeling he has never seen it on her. It worries him.

"You need to stop looking at her, talking to her... go on a few dates with other girls, just try and fall out of love, so you don't fall out of the sky."

He tries. He can tell it hurts Sabrina because she starts pulling away too. Her mouth sours, when she sees him dressing for another date, a girl named Brooke, who likes yoga. Yoga isn't what she's known for, though.

"A little privacy would be nice." Puck grumbles.

"Why are you doing this," she gestures at his outfit, and he winces.

Telling her the truth and letting himself get trapped under the weight of both rejection and guilt, is out of the question, but lying is too.

"Brooke is nice."

"Nice? It sure is easy for you to go goo-goo eyed," Sabrina says spitefully. He knows what she's implying, Brooke is beautiful and easy, not nice.

He wants to shake her, but instead he says nothing. His eyes hardening, he buttons his top and pushes past her.

* * *

He takes Daphnes advice to heart, but nothing changes. It's hard to ignore her, but he knows falling would be harder. Daphne notices this, and asks him, quietly like he might hit her, "Would it be so bad?"

He thinks for a moment, "Would it be so bad to stop breathing?" Words fail him, but his eyes don't, he knows she can see everything in his eyes.

Whatever she sees reassures her, strengthens her resolve. Daphne breathes out hard through her nose, eyes sad, "You need to leave."

He understands what she means; it still stings in the place where he has no heart.

He leaves. Its three long months, before he falls. It isn't graceful or golden or kind. On the way down, he breaks in every way. He can't believe how weak willed he is- how thinking of her and her cherry chapstick could make him human. It's not smart, but he wants to go back. He lived in Ferryport Landing long enough to feel it is his home. He's already fallen, so he figures it can't get any worse. It takes three months of walking and hitchhiking, to make the trek back.

On day six on his way to Ferryport Landing, he sits down in a burger joint. He orders something simple and the waitress smiles at him. He smiles back and starts to wait. For some reason, he starts to cry. Really cry, in a way he never has before. He doesn't stop crying, and wishes he could be ashamed of bawling in public, but he isn't. He wants to yell. He wants to explain to the strangers looking at him that he has lost something so much greater than they could imagine, he wants to tell them he is a prince, and he is to be respected. But it would all feel like lies, because he has nothing now.

He gets kicked out by a tall guy with acne, who looks like he wants to be anywhere but there, Puck looks at his name tag, "Sam…have you ever experienced loss?"

* * *

review if youd like!


	2. Chapter 2

When he arrives at the front door of the place he called home, it takes a moment to collect himself. He runs his hand through his hair, and wonders how he should convince Relda to take him back, after leaving without a goodbye. Before he can even knock though, the door springs open. He swallows, hard.

"Oh my, Liebling," he feels his heart break at the familiar nickname, and just a bit more when she more when she envelops him in a crushing hug, "Where have you been?"

He feels anxiety well up in his chest and hates it, "Around."

She looks at him, smiles, "Daphne told me."

"Oh," he looks down, "I'm sorry I didn't."

"Puck, sweetheart, I'm a detective. I always knew. _Piel_ , or the angel of mischief."

His jaw clenches, he doesn't want to talk about it, ever hopefully. He misses his brothers and sisters, especially Mustardseed, the angel of order, and he misses the music, mostly though he misses flying. Being tied to Earth is a punishment he could never conceive.

"Can I come in?"

"Your room is untouched," she hugs him hard again, "I knew you would come back home."

Everyone is weird around him, except for Daphne. When she sees him she runs, and gives him in his third crushing hug of the day. He tries to think when he and Mustardseed last hugged. Had to have been more than a century ago, he muses. When she lets go, her eyes are misty.

"I'm sorry." It doesn't help. Then again, it doesn't hurt either.

Seeing Sabrina takes his breath away. Partially because she punches him straight in the stomach, but also because she is just as beautiful as he remembers. It bothers him, and what bothers him more is the fact that the punch was crippling. As an angel, he wouldn't have felt that. She notices that, because she starts to help him up immediately.

"Sorry." She doesn't look sorry, but he accepts the apology.

Sabrina knocks on his door, lightly then very angrily. It's two in the morning, so he figures it's important. When he opens the door, she smiles, and then looks angry again. She's wearing neon orange socks, and tapping her foot impatiently, he wonders why he can't help but notice everything about her.

"I know you don't care about me. But, I know you did, at some point. I just want to know why you decided to hitchhike for three months. I deserve an explanation, okay? I might not be important to you, but…. I'm not just some girl! You can't… we weren't nothing. We weren't. And I think that means you owe me an explanation." She crosses her arms, and then uncrosses them, and fidgets with her fingers.

It's that. It's what pushes him over the edge. He grabs her and kisses her hard, and thinks, maybe falling was worth it. She kisses him back with as much reverence, but then pulls back.

"I'm with someone now."

Puck wants to laugh or rip his hair out or scream or kiss her again. She leaves without saying another word.

* * *

I ditched the first day of school and had time to write this. if you like this story lemme know! if people like this ill def continue it as its fun to write

~review if you'd like


	3. Chapter 3

hello all. this chapter is more mature, it mentions drugs and stuff.

* * *

The question that everyone had asked him, the one he couldn't answer was, _what have you been up to?_ The answer would disgust them, and it made him feel incredibly ashamed. He was gone for months, and the memories of certain events wouldn't leave him. He swallowed, hard, at the high he had been craving all day long. He could tell Daphne was worried, when she saw him shiver in bed. It was the symptoms of withdrawal, but he couldn't light up when everyone was up. The smell alone would tip them off.

Thankfully, it was well past everyone's bed time at this point, Puck knew that since it was late in the night no one would be up. He rolled out of his cocoon of blankets, and with a shaking hand opened his sock drawer.

He breathed a sigh of relief. His stash was still there.

* * *

 _Pale skin, paler lips, asking, "You want some?" She sticks her tongue out and he looks at the white tiny pill. He's never been offered drugs before, and says no. He doesn't even know what she's on. She rolls her eyes, clearly annoyed. Mumbles, "Your loss," before she gets lost in the seedy bar he had been frequenting. They were always open, and accepted him no matter the state of distress he was in. Of course, they accepted everyone; which is why the back rooms were full of people snorting things he could not identify. It was the first time he had been offered anything, and nursing his beer, he smiles. Humans would do anything for happiness._

 _The second time he is offered, he refuses. It's a man this time, and he goes for a different approach. He sidles up to Puck, in the corner booth, and offers a smile that is charismatic and lop sided. He throws his hand around Puck, and he doesn't smell bad or look threatening, so Puck allows it. He tells Puck to call him John, says that Puck looks lost. His green eyes sparkle, slightly dangerously as he continues, "I have some of the best stuff. And I could use some company."_

 _Puck has to tear himself away from John's eyes and when he gets up to leave John just smiles like he knows Puck will be back. He would be._

 _He sees him again, days later, at the same bar. This time John is wrecked and when Puck sees him, he wants to be lost too. It looks easy. The first thing he takes is a tab of acid, and he cries the entire trip. He hears angels and while it hurts, it feels too good to not look at John and ask when they could meet up again. Johns lashes stroke Pucks cheek and he mutters into his ear, always, baby, always._

* * *

Puck looks at the baggie and then at his hands. He licks his lips, debating. He reaches for PCP, something that made him feel like he was flying, but footsteps across the hall make him think twice. He slams the closet shut with more force than necessary and waits.

Someone is outside his door and waiting. He hears a faint knock. It's Sabrina. His heart aches too much to even think about letting her in. Her and her stupid boyfriend, how unfair could the world be.. He quietly opens the drawer and takes two pills out. She calls his name, softly, as the pills go down his throat with practiced ease. She calls his name once more, slightly louder. He doesn't respond. And eventually she leaves. Just like that.


End file.
